ugh im struggling with addiction so bad like I relapsed and now my usage is a thousand times worse than it ever was :/
and I legit don’t know any people in my life who have ever struggled with it so I feel like I have nobody to turn to…….friends/family are starting to know something is up though and nobody but my boyfriend even knows I ever struggled with this shit like im so good at hiding it but it’s getting soooo bad that im definitely raising flags. it’s just so embarrassing to me. I feel so weak and my pride won’t let me admit this to anyone. which is why im venting on tumblr dot com because none of you know me irl and I just needed to say (write) this out loud
I literally look and feel awful + I’ve spent the entire 10 thousand dollars I had saved up in the last 4 months. the last score I got was the last of my money LMAO. Like I bled myself fucking dry and now I’m stuck with a fiending but no money to even feed it
and it’s crazy that’s what my mind is worried about like not that i won’t be able to afford bills or food or legit losing 10k……no the fact that I legit can’t score anymore unless I go full shady druggie tactics……
I just fucking hate myself sober and I want to be the confident and honest and loving person I am while I’m fucked but without chemical dependency
and I also quit cigarettes for 4 years and now I’m legit smoking a pack a day. Like a pack used to last me at least 5 days at my worst back in the day. what the fuck!!!!!!! but truly nothing goes better with candy than bogies. fml :(
“Gay sex life, unlike straight sex life, is never a private matter. When a man and a woman walk hand in hand, it is their love that they make public. When two men walk hand in hand, it is their sex life that they make public… Our words are acts; our privacy is public. This reality stems from the nature of homophobia.”
—
Rabbi Steven Greenberg
“Wrestling with G-d and Men: Homosexuality in the Jewish Tradition” (2004)
